Our Friendship After The Surrogacy

I’m asked quite often if I still keep in touch with the biological parents now that my surrogacy role is over. I’m happy to say we do keep in touch and it’s an incredibly beautiful friendship.

We knew right away we were the perfect match. The conversations were easy and comfortable, and each step of the process was done together and with absolute happiness exuding from each of us. I loved that Jeff and I both felt an immediate connection with both of the bio parents. It was exactly how I’d imagined.

As I shared here, we became a wonderful team. I traveled to their fertility doctor for initial appointments and the embryo transfer, and they came up to my doctor when the pregnancy was far enough along to transfer the care to my OBGYN.

We met each other’s family members and had the chance to hang out and go to dinner many times during those first several months, so that only helped in forming a relaxed, fun relationship. We were able to get to know each other on a friend level and not just a contract/business level.

As the pregnancy took some turns (see this post), we became even closer as we faced some scary, emotional situations together. There were a lot of deep conversations, hugs, prayers, and tears. But, we knew we could get through it … and we leaned on each other when any of us needed a little positivity boost.

They had always planned on coming up for the doctor appointments and, of course, the delivery, but we had no idea we would face four months of bedrest, and three of those would be in the hospital. But because of that surprise, we were able to see each other more often as they traveled to visit me as much as possible. I think spending that extra time together strengthened our relationship even more and gave us this crazy, awesome friendship we now have.

Experiencing the birth of that sweet baby boy together created a new bond between all of us, and a breathtaking memory we will never forget.

In the weeks following his birth, we exchanged numerous texts and photos, filling each other in on my recovery and his growth. It was comforting to know he was doing so well after all he’d been through while in the womb.

We have continued to chat via phone and text, and have sent cards and gifts for special occasions. So far, we have had the chance to visit with their wonderful family on two different trips down south. It was like we hadn’t been apart at all. Just as comfortable and easy as the first time we met, but now there is a cute little boy to pass around. 🙂

Every surrogacy story is different.

Every relationship between the gestational carrier and the intended parents is different.

But, I feel so so blessed that my experience resulted in this amazing lifelong friendship with some of the most beautiful people I have ever met.

Love (and treasure sweet friendships) more,

Dana

(*Image above created by Allison Raber)